#19 | Do Narcissists Really Target Empaths?

Are there narcissists out there? Absolutely. Is getting into a relationship with one incredibly painful and completely draining? Absolutely. But to present it as if the narcissist is some kind of boogeyman that is hiding in the bushes waiting for the poor unsuspecting empath to come along is, I think, only a way to perpetuate victim consciousness, which really doesn't do anyone any good.

A fairer assessment would be that narcissists are over-takers, so they are naturally going to be attracted to over-givers. Empaths, by their nature, are very sensitive, loving people who have a lot to give. In fact, they often give and give without much concern for receiving for themselves. Narcissists take and take, without much concern for giving of themselves. So if you can step back and look at the overall dynamic that is occurring, you can see how both are completely out of balance, which is what is facilitating such a match.

Further, the narcissist is looking for an external to make them whole. They seek and seek for the next thing to fill them up, not realizing that the only thing that will make them whole comes from inside. Because the empath will never be able to fill them up, they will want more and more and will ultimately blame the empath for their lack of ability to fix them or make them feel better. To them, you promised to love and understand them into wellness and you broke your end of the bargain.

The empath is also looking for an external to make them feel whole. Although they are incredibly well-meaning, they feel like their love and guidance can fix the person. They give and give looking for that external result, only to be disappointed time and again by how the other person can't appreciate their efforts or change. 

So what is the purpose of these types of relationships? A very out of balance empath will often need things to reach epic proportions before they will finally accept that they also deserve to receive. If they are ready to shift, these relationships allow them to start to love themselves more, respect themselves more, find healthier boundaries, become more discerning, and finally seek a relationship that is far more satisfying to them because they will enter a flow of both loving and being loved.

If you have already had a narcissist experience and have worked on your own self love, respect, balance, and boundaries, and understand each person is responsible for their own growth, you will never ever fall back into a narcissist relationship. You will see it a mile away for what it is and will not need to repeat it because you have already had the experience and used it for your own evolution.

I hope this all helps you move beyond the old fear that if you are an empath, you have to be on the lookout for narcissists that are out to target you. If you have done your work and are prioritizing respect and empowerment for everyone involved, the narcissist will have no interest in you at all. You can still be your loving sensitive self without fear because you will have found your own balance and that is a beautiful gift.

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Music used with permission and written by: Carol Dinalo Hall

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